I had just spent weeks feeling empowered and faith-filled. I was child of the King and nothing was standing in my way.
In my mind, the darts from Satan would come, but I replaced them with confident assurance.
I’m not good enough, but I replace with I am a child of God through faith.
Firm and on fire for Him. Satan had no chance right now.
Then, I wake up one day and I feel deflated. Doubtful and melancholy.
How am I going to do all this today?
I’m tired, irritable and overwhelmed.
The triumphs of the last few weeks had been replaced by the tires of today.
I ask myself, what happened? How did I change so quickly?
I read my Bible and spend time in His Word but go through cycles of faith to doubt and uncertainty.
Can you relate?
What I have learned is I am fickle in feelings. I change often. I’m like the tilt-a-whirl at the Fair. Up and down and all around.
The good news is God never changes.
He isn’t present one day and then gone the next one.
He’s the beginning and the End.
The Great I am.
Constant and Unchangeable.
Because God never changes, I know these attributes of Him are rock-solid.
- I can firmly grasp onto His promises because He is the Truth.
- God is unwavering in His love for me.
- He is always a constant companion. He is a present protector.
“I am God—yes, I Am. I haven’t changed” Malachi 3:6a (MSG)
Repeated times of empowerment and soul -full of fire. I want the ability to deflect the darts of the devil because I am so snug with Jesus.
Reality is, I don’t like this up-and-down nature that my faith goes through. I feel like I must be lacking in faith because I waver.
I’m a lousy Christian. I’m so two-faced, God. Where is my loyalty to Him?
Moments of Doubt
The Bible reassures me that even the Disciples had moments of doubt.
“Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.
Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”
But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”
Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
“Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”
When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.
Matthew 14:22-33 (NLT)
The disciples were with Jesus day in and day out. They witnessed the miracles, the excitement of Jesus and the conversations that made them confident in their faith.
Surely they had souls on fire. But in this moment they were filled with doubt and uncertainty.
The disciples climbed on the tilt-a-whirl of fickle feelings.
Peter reached out to Jesus and began again. From doubt to devotion.
Just as I begin again.
[tweetthis]In those times of fickle feelings, I need to propel myself deeper into Him.[/tweetthis]
These might be the footsteps to a greater faith. The rungs getting me closer to constancy.
When the darts of doubt come, I discipline myself to devotion.
Can you relate? What do you do in these moments of fickle feelings?
Your sister in Christ,