Ann and John Betar have been married 83 years. They are named the “longest married couple in America,” according to an analysis by the Worldwide Marriage Encounter, a Christian organization.
When asked how they made it for 80+ years, they replied they enjoy being together. (To read their story)
What about you? Do you enjoy being with your spouse?
Do you have regular date nights?
Definition of date night (Oxford Dictionary): a prearranged occasion on which an established couple, especially one with children, go for a night out together.
Urban dictionary definition of date night: A time when a couple can take time for themselves away from children and responsibilities. While often occurring at night, a Date Night can happen during day hours as well. Not to be confused with a Date, as that is between unmarried couples solely.
When we get married and then add kids and responsibilities, we have the tendency to put date nights on the bottom of the totem pole.
Here’s the thing, during busy life, it’s hard to connect with our spouse.
Have you tried to have a meaningful conversation with your spouse when the kids are present? Usually, the conversation takes twice as long, with repeats because the kids want to interject and interrupt.
We can’t expect any relationship to work long-term if we don’t choose to put the time into it. Every day it needs to be an intentional choice so that our marriages last the long-haul.
Our marriage aim is growing together through the years, not growing apart.
It’s hard work. But aren’t we up for that challenge?
Skipping Date Nights
According to research done by Redbook, 45% of couples rarely have date nights. Only 18% of those couples have dates once a month.
I don’t know about you, but considering our divorce rates, we need to be having regular date nights in our marriages.
It’s even more important to be regularly dating when you’re married if you want this connection to last.
How do date nights benefit our marriages?
- Decrease the divorce rate
- Stress relief. Getting away from the normal and having some fun is what we all need.
- An increase in communication. When kids are around, isn’t it hard to talk, or is that just us?
- Emotional connection. When the focus is on just the two of you, you can talk deeper and more meaningful.
- Strengthens the relationship
(Colossians 3:23, NLT). 23 Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
It’s important to realize, that even in marriage, we are serving the Lord. When we try our best and work hard to make sure this union is secure, it is honoring to God.
Need Creative Help for Dates
If you’re not creative and need some help, you’re not alone. The internet is full of resources for planning the perfect date night.
Online Date Resources
- The Dating Divas
- Pre-made date boxes at datetodoor.com or dateboxclub.com (you can order 1 box or sign up for a monthly subscription.
Honestly, my husband and I haven’t been good about this. It seems like everything has to align in order for us to go out.
This year, we are becoming more intentional about making date nights a part of our routine.
Staying in love requires intentional action. God is our best role model for living out this love in our marriages. We pursue our spouse just as God pursues us and wants an intimate relationship with us.
(Ephesians 5, NLT).
5 Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us[a] and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.