In our culture, it’s a struggle to remain with the one we spoke our wedding vows to. Every day marriages break up and fall apart. Reasons for the breakup can be many, but in most cases, God desires forgiveness and reconciliation if at all possible.
Becoming one flesh through the marriage covenant is important to God.
(Mark 10:8, NLT). This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife,[c] 8 and the two are united into one.’[d] Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.
Many times in our culture, it’s easier to just throw in the towel and find someone more compatible.
Have these vows just become a phrase of words we say without any permanence behind them?
I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
Death was intended to be the end of the marriage covenant, not irreconcilable differences.
Exchange or Keep?
Instead, culture teaches us to easily trade in our spouses for a new version. It’s all about what I want, how I feel and if it makes me uncomfortable I can get a new-improved model to try out.
We’re not the problem in the relationship???
In the Garden of Eden, God made a perfect marriage. Adam and Eve lived in a partnership with each other where each submitted to the other. Openness and honesty were part of their union. They had respect for each other because they complemented the other.
They were perfect in the image of God, and their marriage was a reflection of this.
(Genesis 1:27, NLT). So God created human beings[a] in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
This partnership worked in harmony because God was the third member. He was involved through daily interaction with both Adam and Eve.
Sin Botches Marriage
When sin entered, the perfect marriage disintegrated. Blame and criticism appeared. Selfishness took Eve away from the promise of God and caused her to want more for herself.
Isn’t that how we are? It’s all about ourselves.
We always want more for ourselves. If it makes us sad or uncomfortable, we don’t want any part of it.
Marriage requires us to submit to someone else. In our society, the word submission is a taboo word. By submitting, we yield to someone else’s wishes. We no longer focus on ourselves, but on someone else.
Isn’t this what true love is?
What is love according to the Bible?
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NLT). 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Sounds like we need a loving overhaul, right?We need more Christian couples demonstrating what a real Biblical marriage looks like. Click To Tweet
Tips for Long- lasting Love
- Remember God gave you your spouse.
- Marriage is work because it’s two sinful people working together.
- Refrain from using the divorce word
- Share life together
- Keep it Christ-centered
- Fights aren’t “him” vs “her”, there is no real winner
- Find support in Christian friends
- Trust God’s plans for your marriage
- Pray for your marriage
- Act as a team
- Commit to learning and growing together
- Give up demanding own way
A long lasting marriage is not only what God commanded, but it also increases your life expectancy.
A Duke University study showed “that having a partner during middle age is protective against premature death: those who never married were more than twice as likely to die early than those who had been in a stable marriage throughout their adult life. Being single, or losing a partner without replacement, increased the risk of early death during middle age and reduced the likelihood that one would survive to be elderly.” (see study here)
We can change this cultural norm regarding marriage by sticking it out long-term. God promises to give us wisdom when we ask Him. He wants to bless our marriage union because we spoke the vows not only to our spouse, but to God also.
Staying married, therefore, is not about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant. ~John Piper
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