A Promising Way How to Not Mess Up Your Kids

The stove had multiple kettles filled with the contents of supper. The smell of pot roast was wafting through the air, testifying it was nearly time to eat. I was trying to coordinate all the dishes being done in time amidst five voices creating an ear-deafening sound.

My body was weary from the day, and the thought of the kids shoveling food quickly in their mouths, and then leaving the mess behind, had me feeling more tired.

Three of the boys were cackling “mom”, the toddler was dumping dried beans on the floor under my feet and my daughter was prodding me about something.

As I bee-lined to the stove, I stubbed my toe on the bar stool sitting in the middle of the floor where it had been obviously moved.

My face started to flush and I could feel frustration welling up inside me. Just like the kettles boiling on the stove, I was ready to release my anger.

“What is going on here…will you all just leave me alone…. I’m trying to get dinner ready for you all.”

After I got all my words out, I felt better, but from the look of the kids’ quarter-sized eyes, I realized I messed up.

The Real Reason I Mess Up

Mommy fails. Again. Wow, God must be really glad He sent me these 5 kids.

Honestly, I don’t do well in stressful situations and my anger can come out like the pressure valve being released on a machine. Many times, my emotions are like a bottle of soda that has been shaken, foaming out the top, and spilling my contents on everyone.

Many days, I feel so broken for this job of parenting.

I can’t get myself right because I’m really a big ‘ole mess.

How can I be sure I don’t mess my kids up too? Check out my other post about messy parents here.

Do you ever feel like other moms have this parenting gig down and they seem to enjoy it? I on the other hand, get extremely excited when bedtime comes.

Did I just admit that, promise you won’t tell my kids?

A Promising Way How to Not Mess Up Your Kids. What do we do when we're a broken mess? Mommy fails every day. How to extend grace to yourself in this parenting journey. Rely on God, trust in Him and surrender your children to His plans.

What you need to know about God’s promise for moms

A few months ago, God gave me a revelation. Those other moms are broken and messy too.

(Romans 3:23, NLT) For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.

Here’s the thing about those other moms, I’m not present in their houses around dinner nor when their kids are flying off the handle. (How I wish I could be a mouse in their house, it would be comforting to know I’m not alone).

God also showed me that I needed to give myself grace in this journey. Motherhood and faith are a lot alike. There will be moments of failing and days of growing. We approach both without seeing but believing.

Faith and motherhood both need time in God’s Word in order to excel, and find wisdom for this journey.

The only way to be the best parent will be spending time in God’s presence while enjoying His grace. Click To Tweet

We can have confidence in faith and parenting when we realize God is in control of all the details, He has a plan and everything will turn out for the best.

A Promising Way How to Not Mess Up Your Kids. What do we do when we're a broken mess? Mommy fails every day. How to extend grace to yourself in this parenting journey. Rely on God, trust in Him and surrender your children to His plans.

Grace: God never calls you to a task without giving you what you need to do it. He never sends you without going with you. ~Paul Tripp

As Christian moms, we have a great resource at our disposal: God’s wisdom in the Bible.

As we pray for guidance, He will lead us to parent our children in the right way. This doesn’t mean we won’t make mistakes and screw up, actually, we will, but we have the ability to pray for greater wisdom for next time.

5 Promising Ways to Not Mess Up Your Kids

  • Teach them that God assures us we will struggle in life. Model to them the importance of prayer during hard circumstances. God promises to help us in our struggles.
  • Let your kids experience unhappiness, don’t give them unreal expectations. Sometimes life stinks, you accept and await tomorrow.
  • Don’t pressure them to be perfect. We know God is the essence of perfection. We can’t expect perfect children.
  • Don’t rescue them. Growth happens through failing and making mistakes.
  • Model growing faith and reliance on God. Let our children see us spending time in God’s word. When times are tough, we show them how to lean into God.

So Mom out there, who is serving her children, please give yourself grace in this season. Pray for guidance, strength, and endurance. Spend time in His word for your daily refreshment.

A Promising Way How to Not Mess Up Your Kids. What do we do when we're a broken mess? Mommy fails every day. How to extend grace to yourself in this parenting journey. Rely on God, trust in Him and surrender your children to His plans.

When you commit your motherhood to God, He promises to walk with you hand in hand. Click To Tweet

As far as my anger-releasing, I have been more intentional in stepping back and regrouping when I start to feel stressed. Exercise every day and spending time in His word make a huge difference.

Moms, you are doing a great job! Your kids will turn out exactly as God needs them to.

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22 thoughts on “A Promising Way How to Not Mess Up Your Kids

  1. Thank you for those sweet words. I have kids 6,5 & 2. Let’s just say I feel like everyday is messy. When I set my expectation on a perfect day my hopes are always dashed. But when God gently reminds me that it is only by seeking His face and bringing Him into this everyday life that I find strength and grace for the days.
    Visiting you from #chasing community

    1. Naomi- I’m right with you friend..messy and messed up:) Yes seeking His face is the most important thing we can do as moms. Glad you stopped by!

  2. I’ve definitely had my fair share of mommy-fails too. Both my daughters are grown and married now, but I still can have those Mommy-fails even now. I’m so thankful for grace for me, and grace for them! Blessings to you, Julie.

    1. Lisa- Thank you for sharing…I never thought of failing once they leave the nest. Thanks for that perspective…it helps to remember grace, doesn’t it? Blessings to you also Lisa!

  3. Thanks for this encouragement here, Julie. I appreciate your honesty and your suggestion. One thing that helps with my mommy fails is to apologize to my kids. It keeps me accountable (I’m less likely to blow it if I know I’ll just have to apologize later) AND it shows them I’m admitting my weakness. The bonus is that now as teens and young adults, they apologize to me when they lose their tempers with me. 🙂

    1. Yes Betsy, apologies are important! I love how your teens apologize to you! Thank you for sharing and stopping by:)

  4. I think God gave me children to teach me more about myself and my need for Him. The hardest one on your list for me is not rescuing them. Oh, my word, it’s so hard to know they’re struggling and know they have lessons they need to learn from it, and a God they need to get to know better through it. This mama thing can be hard on the heart sometimes, can’t it. Thanks for your vulnerability, Julie, always good to know we’re not alone in this mom thing. 🙂 — AND, yay for you for winning the drawing for the No More Perfect Marriages book on my site. Woohoo! If you can send me your address, I’ll get that right out to you! ((xoxo))

    1. Brenda- yes, parenting is hard. Each season is hard for a different reason. I appreciate your sharing and stopping!

    1. Michele- Thank you for the kind words! I’m still in the trenches, and it’s a battle everyday! I’m hoping I can say the same thing some day about being past it.

  5. Hi, Julie. I think my house looks and sounds a lot like yours does! It and all of us in it are a mess . . . and that’s okay, because God specializes in cleaning up messes, right? We mamas sure aren’t perfect; neither are our kids. But we get to show our kids Who to turn to in our mess. Our kids will learn how to handle their messes well when they see us model the thoughts, attitudes, actions and words that send us to Jesus.

    1. Abi- yes, only in the mess can we admit the need for Jesus. Maybe we should be asking for more messes because we’d need Jesus even more 😉

  6. Oh my goodness, I can so relate! My favorite time of day is when the littles go down for the night. I’m a work in progress, too. Thankful for God’s grace. Thank you, friend.

  7. Oh my gosh Julie! Amen, amen, amen! I have been in those pressure valve moments all too often. I have done the exact same thing. But I learned the lessons as you described. This was so well done! I could relate to what you shared so many times. Thank you for being transparent and sharing the better goals in parents, not perfection.

  8. Julie,

    My journey as a mom has been the most defining grace journey of my life. They are right there in all my mess with me and so many of my moments are been less than graceful. I am thankful, however, for the chance to dance in the hard moments with them… to apologize to them… to pray with them. 🙂

    I am confindant you are an AMAZING mom! Thanks for sharing this at the #GraceMoments Link Up!

    Blessings!
    Dawn

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