Inside : I wouldn’t have known the feelings if I hadn’t experienced the suffering in the past. This is why I need to trust God when I suffer.
Today I am sharing at Busy Being Blessed and their series, “Lights of Hope in Times of Darkness Series. ” We all go through times where it’s just too hard. The posts in this series will encourage and give you hope whether you’re in a hard time now, or one is on the horizon.
As a small child, I was terrified of storms because I thought each one carried a tornado in it. When the storm warnings would come on the T.V., the atmosphere around me was one of fear and anxiousness, so by default, I picked up that energy. I would suffer through intense fear because no one reassured me it would be ok.
What I’ve realized is that each storm prepared me for the next one. Through the experience, I was no longer fearful and anxious. It’s not to say, I didn’t have a healthy fear of storms, but I was confident Who holds me. God reassured me it will all turn out.
I was hit with pretty intense postpartum anxiety and depression after baby number five. The events surrounding the birth were hard and then life resumed back to normal for everyone else.
I could have used a few more weeks to process, heal and re-enter as a mom to five kids. To read more of my story, check it out here.
I felt numb, but with a new healthy baby, I should have been ecstatic. The darkness descended upon me and sucked the life right out of me. Insomnia and extreme anxiety became unwelcome additions to the cocktail of suffering.
I didn’t think I’d make it and I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t helping me. I’d pray the same prayer over and over again God please help me, take this away and fill me with joy. God, however, didn’t come through the way I expected Him to. He seemed quiet and distant.
How to Trust God in Suffering
How could God allow one of His own children to suffer like this? Doubt curled its fingers around my thoughts and I started to reevaluate God’s role in my life.
Somehow in my Christian walk, I had bought into the thought that once I was following God, my life would be abundant and easy.
During this time, I had prioritized Him into each day and I felt I was spending sufficient time with Him. And then this happened…. I couldn’t begin to understand it.
Here’s the thing, God promises that life will be hard. He actually says to expect it, here are some tips for the unbearable times.
When I look in the Bible, especially Paul’s struggles, I can’t grasp the idea of rejoicing in struggles. I hated every minute of it when I was in the throes of PPD. No way, no how would I be able to thank God for those moments.
Or could I?
To read the rest follow me to Busy Being Blessed
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