I’m a jealous woman. There I said it, point blank without an entertaining, personal story. I could have given you many examples, but all of them would end in the same way. Jealousy.
Not words a child of God should clothe herself in, and it doesn’t speak of a confident Christian woman at all.
Have you ever been in a situation where you desired something intensely? A good friend shares that she acquired what you’ve been desperately hoping to get. On the outside, a smile appears, and congratulations are on the lips, but on the inside, the green-eyed monster comes alive.
When you get alone, the ugliness oozes out.
Tell me I’m not the only one who struggles with this?
Reasons for my Lack of Confidence
As a child, I just wanted to be loved for me. My friends seemed to overlook me, not choose or invite me to sleepovers. I became jealous of what I didn’t possess and what I wasn’t.
When I was married, I would be jealous of the time my husband spent on hobbies. Why didn’t he want to spend time with me?
This past year of blogging was made me feel inferior once again. This time, though, I’m comparing other bloggers’ success to mine.
To get to the root of my issue and why I’m jealous, I did some research.
The definition of jealousy according to Dictionary.com is:
Jealousy: jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself. Mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims. Vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.
Human jealousy can cause us to become angry, agitated and worried.
Gosh, I’m feeling more and more pathetic.
The Secret of my Jealousy
If I uncover my reasons for being jealous, it’s a lack of trust with God’s provisions for me. A better phrase would be a decline of faith. What someone else is doing threatens me, so I need to scheme, protect and compete because I think there isn’t enough to go around for me to get a piece.
The lies I’ve carried from the past have made me believe things which aren’t right nor beneficial. As a result, all of these faulty thinking directs me to pull into crisis mode and negativity.
God looks at crazy, obsessed, human jealousy as a big sin. It’s a gateway wrong which pulls us down a slippery slope into worst offenses (remember the story of Cain and Abel?). However, being jealous is different from acting envious, especially if we can get a grip on it before we fall.
In the Bible, God admits He is jealous for our attention. What? I thought God said jealousy was wrong?
Here’s a big difference, God is jealous because He wants to be our number one in life. He gave up His Son for us and continues to maintain His vigilance in caring, protecting and sustaining us. God’s jealousy is guarding and loving someone in an unconditional, everlasting way, and yet the recipient gives themselves to something other than God.
In other words, we can get jealous over our husbands flirting with another woman. But if we were to behave in a way that displeases God, this would be a sin.
(Exodus 20:5, NLT).
5 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods.
Confident in God
7 Steps for Ditching Jealousy
- Debunk the lies we’ve carried in our minds and accept the feeling of jealousy.
- Take control of the jealous thoughts and feelings before it becomes behavior.
- Direct our thoughts back to God and His purpose for us.
- Focus on changing our perspective. What is God’s truth?
- Congratulate another’s success.
- Realize success is on the horizon for us also.
- Be grateful for the things we do have.
Do you feel like you’ll never get a handle on this like I’m feeling?
It’s important to remember -anything else on this journey of faith will be a slow change. What we need is intention every day. Slowly as God’s love for us becomes more evident in our hearts and minds, we won’t feel as threatened with jealousy.
It doesn’t mean we won’t ever be jealous again; we’re humans, and it’s a part of our sinful nature. However, we can shut down the thoughts and feelings right away and ask God to replace them with more holy and pleasing reasoning.
We can have confidence in God because He has given us over 3,000 promises in the Bible for our good. He has good plans for us, hold us in the palms of His hands and loves us forever.
Worldly success doesn’t mean much to God, however bringing others to faith and living out our faith trumps it all.The Secret of the Confident Christian woman is she is covered completely by her Creator; protected,… Click To Tweet
Work-in-progress girl here; replacing all my baggage, one step at a time and growing more like Christ!
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had. ~Erica Jong