The Secret of a Confident Christian Woman

Inside: Jealousy: definitely not words a child of God should clothe herself in and doesn’t speak of a confident Christian woman at all. What is the secret for confidence?

I’m a jealous woman. There I said it, point blank without an entertaining, personal story. I could have given you many examples, but all of them would end in the same way. Jealousy.

Not words a child of God should clothe herself in, and it doesn’t speak of a confident Christian woman at all.

Have you ever been in a situation where you desired something intensely?  A good friend shares that she acquired what you’ve been desperately hoping to get. On the outside, a smile appears, and congratulations are on the lips, but on the inside, the green-eyed monster comes alive.

When you get alone, the ugliness oozes out.

Tell me I’m not the only one who struggles with this?


The Secret of a Confident Christian Woman. Do you struggle with jealousy? We think there isn't enough to go around or somehow we'll be forgotten. God has us in the palm of His hands. We need to trust He has us.

Reasons for my Lack of Confidence

As a child, I just wanted to be loved for me. My friends seemed to overlook me, not choose or invite me to sleepovers. I became jealous of what I didn’t possess and what I wasn’t.

When I was married, I would be jealous of the time my husband spent on hobbies. Why didn’t he want to spend time with me?

This past year of blogging was made me feel inferior once again. This time, though, I’m comparing other bloggers’ success to mine.


To get to the root of my issue and why I’m jealous, I did some research.

The definition of jealousy according to is:

Jealousy: jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself. Mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims. Vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.

Human jealousy can cause us to become angry, agitated and worried.

Gosh, I’m feeling more and more pathetic.

The Secret of my Jealousy

If I uncover my reasons for being jealous, it’s a lack of trust with God’s provisions for me. A better phrase would be a decline of faith. What someone else is doing threatens me, so I need to scheme, protect and compete because I think there isn’t enough to go around for me to get a piece.

The lies I’ve carried from the past have made me believe things which aren’t right nor beneficial. As a result, all of these faulty thinking directs me to pull into crisis mode and negativity.

God’s Jealousy

God looks at crazy, obsessed, human jealousy as a big sin. It’s a gateway wrong which pulls us down a slippery slope into worst offenses (remember the story of Cain and Abel?). However, being jealous is different from acting envious, especially if we can get a grip on it before we fall.

In the Bible, God admits He is jealous for our attention. What? I thought God said jealousy was wrong?

Here’s a big difference, God is jealous because He wants to be our number one in life. He gave up His Son for us and continues to maintain His vigilance in caring, protecting and sustaining us. God’s jealousy is guarding and loving someone in an unconditional, everlasting way, and yet the recipient gives themselves to something other than God.

In other words, we can get jealous over our husbands flirting with another woman. But if we were to behave in a way that displeases God, this would be a sin.

(Exodus 20:5, NLT).

5 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods.

Confident in God

7 Steps for Ditching Jealousy

  1. Debunk the lies we’ve carried in our minds and accept the feeling of jealousy.
  2. Take control of the jealous thoughts and feelings before it becomes behavior.
  3. Direct our thoughts back to God and His purpose for us.
  4. Focus on changing our perspective. What is God’s truth?
  5. Congratulate another’s success.
  6. Realize success is on the horizon for us also.
  7. Be grateful for the things we do have.

The Secret of a Confident Christian Woman. Do you struggle with jealousy? We think there isn't enough to go around or somehow we'll be forgotten. God has us in the palm of His hands. We need to trust He has us.

Do you feel like you’ll never get a handle on this like I’m feeling?

It’s important to remember -anything else on this journey of faith will be a slow change. What we need is intention every day. Slowly as God’s love for us becomes more evident in our hearts and minds, we won’t feel as threatened with jealousy.

It doesn’t mean we won’t ever be jealous again; we’re humans, and it’s a part of our sinful nature. However,  we can shut down the thoughts and feelings right away and ask God to replace them with more holy and pleasing reasoning.

We can have confidence in God because He has given us over 3,000 promises in the Bible for our good. He has good plans for us, hold us in the palms of His hands and loves us forever.

Worldly success doesn’t mean much to God, however bringing others to faith and living out our faith trumps it all.

The Secret of the Confident Christian woman is she is covered completely by her Creator; protected,… Click To Tweet

Work-in-progress girl here; replacing all my baggage, one step at a time and growing more like Christ!

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.  ~Erica Jong

This post is shared at: #TeaAndWord  #TestimonyTuesday #TuesTalk #RaraLinkup #TellHisStory #CoffeeforYourHeart #SittingAmongFriends

30 thoughts on “The Secret of a Confident Christian Woman

  1. Hi Julie,
    When I first saw you “confess” to being jealous, my thought was, “Well, God is a jealous God, so I hope she doesn’t feel too bad about it.” 🙂 I’m glad you drew it back to that quality of His too.

  2. I hear ya, Julie. I think we all deal with it. God knows that’s why it’s one of the 10 Commandments. But we have to do exactly what you said, and cast down those thoughts and replace them with His way of thinking.

    1. Kelly- Thank you for sharing that I’m not alone. I feel it more than I should in life. God is slowly breaking me and renewing!

  3. We can call it a weakness, and we can excuse it with background information, but you have shown us the method for nipping it in the bud: calling it sin, and repenting of the treasonous act of doubting God’s goodness and provision for my (not someone else’s) life.
    Thanks, Julie, for speaking truth.

  4. Love this, Julie. Thanks for linking up. I love how you take the everyday issues we face and weave them with Biblical truth, but just enough (not too much) that my heart and eyes get overwhelmed. Thank you!

  5. Julie, I love that you addressed the issue of jealousy! It is a topic that has been repeating itself in my life recently. But not really in a bad way at all, for me at least. Just in discussions with friends, etc. I am not a jealous woman and my husband is not jealous man and our marriage is probably the strongest of all of my married friends. A friend of mine, who is struggling with marital issues, just sent me an article about jealousy and one thing that really struck a chord with me in it was this…people assume that the more you love someone the more jealous you should be. But what the writer emphasized was that jealousy and love are mutually exclusive of one another. Love cannot exist where there is jealousy. The jealousy leaves no room for love. I think if we apply this perspective to all aspects of our lives, including self love and our desires for success, it becomes easier to turn jealousy into drive. And you are definitely on your way to minimizing jealousy because you are writing about it. Good for you, my friend, good for you!


  6. Hi Julie. No, you aren’t alone in your feelings! I know that contentment is the cure for jealousy, and I like your suggestion to focus on better things in store for us. Glad to find you at #teaandwordtuesday this week!

  7. Thanks for calling a spade a spade here. I think one of the keys to overcoming jealousy is love. When we love each other well, we are genuinely glad for others success. When we understand our church as family, we celebrate all our accomplishments!

  8. These are great ideas, Julie! I’d never really thought about the root of my jealousies, before–but you’re right, all-in-all, they represent a lack of faith in what God can do in MY life. Thank you for making me think!

  9. Number three has been integral for me in pushing any feeling of jealousy aside. Remembering the truths of God’s Word is the cure for anything that ails!! Great post! Happy to be your neighbor at #CoffeeForYourHeart.

  10. I definitely struggle with jealousy at times, and it comes from a heart of selfish ambition instead of selfless worship. God has given us everything in Christ, and yet we long for more. I’ve discovered my jealousy arises when I’m nurturing a heart of discontentment. Thankfulness for God’s promises is such a great remedy! I also appreciated your distinction of God’s jealousy versus ours. His is so justified because He IS deserving of our complete loyalty and love!

    This caught my attention, too: “Worldly success doesn’t mean much to God, however bringing others to faith and living out our faith trumps it all.” Amen! Great reminder.

  11. You hit the nail on the head: “what someone else is doing threatens me, so I need to scheme, protect and compete because I think there isn’t enough to go around for me to get a piece.” I hate to admit it, but that right there describes what I’m actually feeling and doing by being jealous. Those 7 steps to ditching jealousy were so helpful, thank you!

  12. You’re not the only one! I’ve battled envy, particularly in seasons where I’m waiting on God and everyone else seems to be running in their purpose. Love you encouragement to hold fast to the truth of who we are and fix our thoughts on Jesus!

    1. Tiffany- Yes, you’re right running ahead and leaving me in the ashes. I’ve got to hold tighter to His truth!

  13. “I’m a jealous woman…Not words a child of God should clothe herself in” for some reason that packed a punch for me…the phrasing. You could apply that to any sinful word and it would be just as effective! Visiting from the #raralinkup

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