Why We Need to Break Up With Bad

Inside: Bad relationships affect our growth as a Christian. These connections strangle the life God has for us. Why do we need to break up with bad?


*Disclosure: In order to cover expenses and further the ministry of Unmasking the Mess, this blog uses affiliate links. To learn more, please read our full disclosure here.

Strangers, remember when we learned about them when we were small? We shouldn’t talk to them, follow them into their car and they were bad news. When a stranger offered us anything, it was heavily stressed that we shouldn’t take what they offered.

Did you learn about this too?

My kids learned about strangers through the video “Stranger Danger.” I made sure they knew about it because I’ve heard the stories and seen media footage about kids being harmed by strangers.

The reality is these kids, who have experienced trauma at the hands of a stranger or acquaintance, have lasting suffered lasting affects. Their whole world has changed and these encounters will influence them for the rest of their lives.

As a child, it was helpful to have parents who would keep us safe. However, as an adult, we might find ourselves getting hooked into relationships that aren’t wholesome.

Break Up with Bad

We didn’t go searching for a bad relationship, but somehow it happened.

Do you feel stuck and can’t break up with bad?

You know the connection isn’t good for you, but if its family or children are involved, it makes it just hard.

You know you are in a toxic relationship when:

Bad relationships affect our growth as a Christian. Toxicity leeches away truthfulness so that these connections strangle the life God has for us.

(1 Corinthians 15:33 ,NLT), Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”

Many times, we want to make excuses for these relationships, don’t we? We say It’s not toxic, or I just have to have thicker skin.  As a result, we might stick-up for the toxic person and say they’re going to change, or we end up blaming ourselves because we think we are the problem.

What parts of us do these relationships affect?

  • Health
  • Security
  • Control
  • Trust
  • Worth
  • Confidence about love
  • Dependence on people


Our soul should be shining brightly when we are with soul-breathing people, but when we are with dragons, they burn us with their fire. Our relationships should be centered on God. If God is not the center or if this relationship moves Him out of the center, it is not a healthy union.

One Toxic Relationship in the Bible

Haman was a boastful man. He wanted the world served to him on a silver platter. He wasn’t king, but second-in-line to the king, so he expected the same kind of service. The reality is, Haman always wanted to be on top.

Do you know any people like that?

Mordecai was a Jew and the pseudo father of Queen Esther. The important point was, Mordecai had his heart set on God, and wouldn’t put the king or Haman above that.

This infuriated Haman, and his hatred for Mordecai grew. Haman suggested to the King to remove all the Jews. Here’s the thing, Haman’s toxic character was infiltrating the kingdom, and his impact was rubbing off on those around him. Haman’s hate propelled him to keep trying other tactics to bring other’s down.

Soon, Haman was devising a plan to put Mordecai on gallows above the city for all to see.  The king executed Haman instead.

What can we learn from this?

Toxic people bring us down, but God lifts us up. Mordecai kept his heart set on God, and Haman’s negativity didn’t spread to him, or his faith.

Empowering relationships encourage us, toxicity scorches us. Click To Tweet


Why We Need to Break Up With Bad. Bad relationships affect our growth as a Christian. These connections strangle the life God has for us. Why do we need to break up with bad? #toxicrelationship #toxic #bad #clingtoGod #belife

What steps should we take if we are in toxic relationships?

  • God-centered relationships are a must.
  • Seek God’s wisdom in regards to this relationship
  • Set boundaries
  • State your worth
  • Stop the relationship
  • Search for professional help

God does not want us to endure through these connections. He wants us to be a part of the community that breathes life and healing into our bodies. God wants us joined together in unison drawing closer to Him, and with each other.

If you find yourself in a dating relationship, God has a special someone for you, a man who will love you and honor you. Don’t fall for this toxic man, hold out for God’s best. It will be worth it!

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too (Philippians 2:1-4, NLT).

12 thoughts on “Why We Need to Break Up With Bad

  1. So glad to stop by, connect, and read this post, Julie. Even as a preacher’s daughter, born into the church, and 1st saved at the ripe age of 6 years, I have experienced so much of what you’ve shared today. Believe it or not, it wasn’t that long ago, but God…in His grace, He is redeeming time for me and restoring what was lost. You are making a difference by sharing your stories. #FaithFilledFriday

  2. Another great post, Julie! I agree that we need to apply wisdom to relationships and be wary of the toxic ones. Sometimes we don’t even realize. I’ll definitely be sharing, friend. 🙂

    1. Kelly- Over time good relationships can go south and we don’t even realize it. If they make us feel a certain way, we might need to re-evaluate.

  3. I struggle with this one girl. I want to be the shoulder for people because I lived from the outside looking in for so long. I want to be vulnerable, transparent and approachable. To give love to the lost and hurting. Saying all this so you can say a prayer for me? I need wisdom in relationships so that I know the difference between that and opening up myself too much, or knowing when I am getting walked on or taken advantage. of. Great tips here and I will keep them in mind. I definitely need to pray and study more on this topic for wisdom’s sake and the protection of my family. Thanks, friend!

    1. Meg- I think boundaries are important! I struggle with this too. I have a friendship where I know its energy-sucking, but I wonder if I need to be different and overlook, or just love the person. I’m really wrestling with this.
      Praying for discernment for you!

  4. Julie, your post is to timely! I was counseling someone in this very area last week. It is so difficult sometimes to help someone through identifying the toxic elements fo the relationship because the emotions often get in the way. I love your logic, practical voice and your heart!

    1. Crystal- Thank you! We think of toxic as abuse or something like that, but small toxic words/actions can accumulate too. Does the person make my life more faith-filled or draw me from God? This should be the biggest question.
      Blessings to you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.