Why We Need Godly Marriage Role Models

Inside: What is a mentor? Godly marriage mentors can show you how a marriage should look the way God intended it to be. Society’s definition of marriage is wrong.

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Can you think of a Christian couple who are a role model for you and your marriage?

This Christian couple model how a marriage should look the way God intended it to be. The couple stands out to you because they are polar-opposite of what society says marriage should look like.

Culture’s Idea of Marriage

Our culture urges us to look out for numero uno aka ourselves. Everything revolves around our happiness, our pleasure, and our good fortune. If it doesn’t please us, we can drop whatever and follow the path to what does.

In this present moment, physical beauty and attractiveness are emphasized.

It’s very me-centric here, isn’t it?

So many of the Hollywood stars aren’t the best role models for marriage because frankly their marriages don’t last long or are racked with huge issues that aren’t something we want to emulate anyway.

Multiple marriages and divorces and still they can’t find happiness.

Or what about “conscious uncoupling” which gives excuses to dissolve the marriage gracefully so they can minimize God’s directives in the Bible.

Those in favor of this uncoupling aka Gwenyth Paltrow say, “the idea of being married to one person for life is too much pressure for anyone.”

The divorce rate is clear indication marriages aren’t lasting.

Godly Mentors

I don’t know about you, but I want to find people who have weathered seasons in their marriage and can provide me with tips and advice to do the same.

As I was thinking about role models, I overlooked a huge resource sitting within the walls of my church building. Many times, I overlook the wealth of knowledge of the older Christian couples surrounding me.

I glance past them because it requires me to ask them for help.

Asking for help and guidance is hard because we should be strong and not admit our weaknesses. We don’t want to admit a struggling marriage.

God’s Idea of Marriage

Here’s the thing, God designed marriage to be a team effort where we are in fellowship with each other.

This relationship is coupled with God. A conscious coupling in faith in a triangular fashion. A couple with God at the apex.

Each person supporting the other. “Others-centric” which is the opposite of our society’s thoughts.

God considers this relationship very important. (see this post on communication, keeping the spark alive and questions to ask your husband this year.)

However, our society likes to believe this union can be created and dissolved on repeat. The vows are a solemn covenant with God and our spouse which is a permanent decision.

Especially when we need to admit this to other Christians.

I’m having some issues with my marriage. I need help and proven tips that work.

What I Learned from Older Christian Couples

• Faith is important, but it’s active faith. (Those with active faith are less likely to divorce)
• Practice the art of submission, we encourage the best in each other.
• Each day, give grace and mercy.
• Worshiping together and praying is part of life.
• Stand behind your spouse through everything.
• Don’t go to bed angry
• Internal beauty keeps on blooming and growing, whereas external beauty fades.

I want my marriage to last and wedded bliss continuing on throughout the years.

My children deserve a role model in marriage.

Can we vow to find a Christian couple to model their marriage?

Here are some questions to ask your marriage mentors:

1. How do you keep God center in your relationship?
2. What does submission mean to you?
3. What are some tips you’ve personally used when hard times happened in your marriage?
4. How do you work through disagreements?
5. What is the greatest lesson God has given you in regards to your marriage?
6. How do you continue to practice love with your spouse?
7. Any other marriage tips you can share?

We all can learn so much more in regards to our marriages. The lasting impression I heard was marriage is a journey and you learn throughout the trip. You grow together and arrive at your destination as two different people woven together in faith.

⁴ “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female. ⁵ And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ ⁶ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Matthew 19:4-6, NLT).

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