Today I am welcoming a new friend to the blog. I don’t know Becky very well, but I can tell she has a strong faith. I pray her words will renew your trust in the Lord.

Anxiety for Christmas

#Heartbreak Holiday

By: Becky Watkins

A light snow was peacefully falling outside, the kind of snow that makes calendar photos. I should have felt peace and happiness, but anxiety consumed me making my body ache all over.

The announcement boomed, “We will now begin boarding flight 1416, service to Fort Lauderdale.” My husband and I were leaving the frozen Iowa tundra on our way to a two-week adventure amidst palm trees and sandy beaches.

Actually, it was an escape.

Fear of the Future

Three months prior, Dave, my husband had been diagnosed with prostate cancer just five days before my father died. I do not need to say that our lives were turned completely upside down, anxiety was high and the fear of what lie ahead loomed ponderously.

Honestly, I can’t tell you much about that fall as I went about what had to be done in a robotic fashion. I do, however, remember the conversation with my husband when he once again was trying to decide if he should move up his surgery instead of waiting until after the first of the year as he had originally decided.

As selfishness washed over me, I adamantly stated that I needed this vacation after all I had been through this fall so he would have to wait. He reluctantly agreed it might make a good distraction adding he wasn’t sure he would have any fun.

Worry or Trust?

So there we sat in the airport about to board the plane when I heard this voice. Okay, it wasn’t really an audible voice but more a voice in my head, the still small voice saying, “Are you really going to trust this plane to take you through the sky?”

I am not normally one who is anxious about flying, but in that moment, logic crept in and I thought about the pilot flying the plane. He was just a human. I questioned how a big piece of metal could fly through the air with nothing holding it up. Instead of being overcome by fear, I reasoned. I had flown many times successfully. Engineers designing the plane have researched what works. Statistically, it’s safer to fly…

Trusting God

As I boarded the plane, the voice was back, “Then why not trust me?” I got it! The God who parted the Red Sea, the God who feed 5000 people with five loaves and two fish can take me through the grief of loss and the uncertainty of what lies ahead. I just need to trust Him like I was about to trust the airplane that December day.

⁶ Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT).

Becky Watkins is an Author, Speaker and Coach from small town Iowa. She is a Marine mom to her 21-year old son and the wife of an amazing husband. Becky plays a role in the support of her mother with middle Alzheimer’s disease. She desires to spread God’s love and help others do the same.

www.rippleeffectchange.org

To read other posts in the Heartbreak Holiday series:
Dysfunctional Disaster Holiday 

It’s the Wonderful Time of the Year

 A Barren Womb at Christmas

Finding Joy in the NICU at Christmas

How to Choose Joy When Deployment Separates Us

Joy In A Hot Christmas Mess

I Feel So Sad And Lonely This Holiday Season

The Empty Seat