What My Anxiety Taught Me About God and Worship
Inside: I couldn’t change my circumstances, but I knew He could. What my anxiety taught me about praise and worship couldn’t have been learned any other way!
*Disclosure: Post may contain affiliate links. See our full disclosure here.
The weather outside my bathroom window was stormy, windy and the snow was coming down. It was a weird February day because we were having a thunder snowstorm. It was gloomy outside, and the weather matched what my heart was feeling.
I felt like the storm would never blow over both outside and inside my body. It was slowly going to take me out.
I was stuck and my willpower was gone. I couldn’t get out of the gloom around me. The purple circles were evident under my eyes and my hair looked as though a brush hadn’t been through it in a few days. The weather outside only seemed to mock me. It made me feel like this would never let up.
Have you been there? Those seasons where you think this will never end?
On this particular day, I had had enough. In desperation, I finally surrendered my white flag and admitted to God that I was done trying in my own strength. I couldn’t do it any longer. I drew my line right there on the bathroom floor.
It was a checkmate between God and myself, no advancing was going to happen for me unless I relinquished my fight to Him.
I was chasing my tail and going in pointless circles. My fight had smoldered out.
When I dropped to my knees in submission to God, a strange thing happened to me. It wasn’t strange at the time, but looking back now through the eyes of introspection. I can see a juxtaposition.
Desperation for peace.
Anxiety to comfort.
Powerlessness to perfection.
Frail human to Almighty Creator.
I couldn’t change my circumstances, but I knew He could. I was out of strength and perseverance, but He had an unlimited amount. Share on XWhat My Anxiety Taught Me about God
Anxiety gave me the ability to genuinely worship God.
The definition of worship is the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity. Or honor given to someone in recognition of their merit. (Source: Merriam-Webster).
Don’t we worship well when life is going well? True worship is when life sinks you and even at the end of yourself in weakness you confess God still reigns.
I learned that ever in the worst of times, God was still good.
Genuine worship is when our hearts are stuck on God in surrendered living. Share on X
Let us journey back to the Israelites because they are a lot like us. We don’t think we need God when life is smooth sailing, but when the waves come we need Him.
The background is the Israelites, living in Jerusalem, have again fallen away from God. The prophet Isaiah is warning them to return to God or judgment and destruction will come their way.
The Israelites appear to be worshiping God, but only God could tell the truth. The Israelites decided to trust enemy nations like Assyria and Egypt instead of the faithful God, who had seen them through time and time again. The Lord tells Isaiah the Israelites are not offering their hearts to God like they should be.
13 And so the Lord says,
“These people say they are mine.
They honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
And their worship of me
is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote (Isaiah 29:13, NLT).
Isn’t it true many times, we go through the motions and say rote prayers?
When we are stuck in a hard season, we find the true meaning of worship. We bear out our soul to God and get an influx of joy, mercy, and comfort. We begin to become reverent to the power of the Almighty.
Our eyes become open and we start to see everything anew. God is better than He was before. We become choked up in awe of Him and He becomes brighter and stronger.
True worship happens when we yield and He reigns. Share on X
What do you think?
“True worship is when life sinks you, and even at the end of yourself in weakness you confess God still reigns.” This reminds me of Job. Even though everything was taken away, even his health, he still worshiped God. May He enable us to do the same. Blessings to you! I’m near you at #inspirememonday.
Gayl- thanks for stopping! We don’t have to like the season we are in, but God is working it out for our good, right? Trying to find gratitude in the hard times too.
Have a good week!
Julie
Love the post.Great post.
Mavis- thank you for the encouragement!
Julie
Amen, Julie. It is easy to worship when life is going well and everything falls into place, but the true testament of faith is when we worship through trials. Such a timely post for me. Thank you!
Abby- I’m a work-in-progress, I have a bad attitude a lot with God too. I am good at playing the silent treatment with Him at many times.
Grace is such a gift to me. Glad it helped you.
Thanks for stopping and have a great week!
Julie
I was just reading a different post last night and was reminded that in the midst of our craziness and stressful storms God peace is with us. We may be overwhelmed but not crushed, perplexed but not abandoned. His grace is enough and He meets us in the middle of all we are in! Thanks for this reminder of His peace and grace as we delve into His presence and worship Him. (Your neighbor at #IntentionalTuesday)
Rachel- Thank you for sharing! I’m so glad He’s on my side.
Have a great week!
Julie
Great encouragement! Thank you for sharing! 🙂
Stacey- thank you!
Have a great week!
Julie
Julie, these words seem to be the theme for me today no matter what I read. I’m so grateful you shared this beautiful encounter with God, it encourages me and reminds me that my only job in my circumstances is to lift words and heart and eyes and worship to Him alone!
Christine- thank you for the encouragement!
So glad you stopped by!
Julie
“no advancing was going to happen for me unless I relinquished my fight to Him.” The beauty is in the relinquishing, giving God the glory, and letting Him do the fighting. Thank you, Julie, for this reminder that when life is good to give God the glory, and when life is hard to give God the glory.
Crystal- it’s easier said then done, right? We have to be intentional, even when our feelings and mood want no part in it.
Have a good week!
Julie
Yes, I have experienced this. I have learned to literally look to Christ, hold what is concerning me (or who) in my hands stretched out to Him and then look only to Him. Surrender is powerful! And what He does with it is the best!!!! I am your neighbor at Sitting with Friends.
Yes, it’s intentional action. We have to choose to lessen the grip and give it over.
Julie
I’d say one of my biggest issues with prayer is concentration. It’s like the enemy just assaults my mind with all kinds of things when I really want to pray, read and hear from God. It’s so frustrating, but I’m not giving up. I’m reading a great book (that I found by accident !) that talks about persisting in prayer and retraining our ears to hear. Thanks for your post!
Karen- my pastor just spoke about this during a sermon. God is always talking to us, but we aren’t tuned into it. We are so busy and distracted, we miss what He is saying.
We need to choose to listen, get intentional and expect to hear.
Julie
I have experienced that same bathroom floor scenario many a time, Julie. The worst was a couple years ago, and still even some last year and this year has been a lot of healing. Thanks so much for bearing your soul like this. I want to be “stuck” on God! This is great and I love the new look of your blog too, friend!
Meg- thank you for the encouragement! I appreciate it friend!
Julie
Ah, yes, I’ve found myself maxed out with my self quite a few times. I came to the same conclusion. The end of me is where God can start working in me, for me and with me. It’s a beautiful place (even if it happens in a bathroom ;)).
Anita- yes it is!
Thanks for stopping!
Julie
So much truth here, Julie! It’s tough to worship in the midst of trial. We run to Him for help, but can we worship? Those moments when I step outside of myself and my perceived needs and wants, and surrender it all to worship Him have been the most emotional and cleansing moments of time with my Savior. Thanks, friend, for sharing this beautiful and hope-filled post with us at Moments of Hope! You are a treasure!
I love the look of the new site! It’s fantastic!!!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Lori- I want that type of worship, but do I willingly want the trial? If we look back into Scriptures though, don’t we see the best worship amidst the trial?
Always love your comments!
Julie
Thank you Racquel!
Have a good weekend!
Julie
“True worship is when life sinks you and even at the end of yourself in weakness you confess God still reigns.” That’s beautiful!
Thank you, Susan! I appreciate your encouragement!
I’ve had these same breakdown moments in the shower. Just sitting on the floor letting the water rain down and praying my distress would go down the drain as well. In those times I’ve heard God tell me I’m the one holding on. I’m not letting it go. I don’t like that it gets to those moments but it can be so positive afterward.
Melissa- thanks for sharing your story! It’s so liberating when others share what they’ve gone through…it makes me feel like I’m not the only one in the shower crying! Thank you!
Thank you for sharing such a personal experience, Julie. I have been on the bathroom floor many a time too and though I wouldn’t wish those dark times on anyone, I do know God is close to the brokenhearted, and in these times I learned to lean on his love and grace (which ended up helping me break free from the legalistic/work for love mentality). He really does use all things for our good. Love and prayers friend.
Meg- thank you for admitting your realness, Meg! I appreciate that about you!
I’m just thinking of that verse which says that greater is God in us – and God is greater than all of it!
Andrea- yes! God is great within us!
What great encouragement! Thank you so much for sharing your heart.
Thanks for your vulnerability. I’ve had debilitating anxiety brought on by PTSD; God has also used it in my life to bring me closer to him.
Amen amen – God is so good in the midst of all things!
“True worship is when we yield and He reigns.”
Amen, Julie.
Wonderful post and a very needed message
Powerful Julie, I’m learning when things are hard, God is still good. And love this, “Genuine worship is when our hearts are stuck on God in surrendered living.”
In the Book of Job, Satan believes that Job is only faithful because God has so generously blessed him. He believes that if Job lost everything he would no longer worship God. When God allows Satan to test Job, Job remains faithful inspire of being overwhelmed by his loss and grief. So as you write about – the key is will we be obedient and faithful in both the summer seasons of our lives and remain faithful and still worship in our winter seasons. Will we serve God because of who he is and not because of what he can give us…