7 Questions I’m Asking My Husband this Year
Inside: In order to know how God is leading my husband in his faith life, I have these 7 questions to ask husband this year. Getting in tune with God and my spouse.
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Have you ever participated in a game of Tug ‘O War?
Two teams battle and hold on to a rope. The winning team is the team which gets the majority of the rope on their side.
In grade school, we played this game during our Olympic Sports day. I remember pulling with all my strength, gritting my teeth and getting rope burns on my hands in the process. The game’s struggle is not only the pulling of the rope but also watching out so you aren’t stepped on or trampled by teammates.
Although it was a team effect, everyone could fall into “me” effect by not working as a team, but rather overstepping onto other team members or even disregarding the team.
When Marriage is an “I” not a “We”
Isn’t this how marriage can be sometimes?
We say with our mouths it’s a team effort, but in our actions, we declare we are working alone.
My agenda over a team agenda.
- This can cause friction and a displacement of intimacy.
- Alienation from each other.
- Working harder instead of working smarter.
- Hard feelings or resentment towards our spouse.
- Overwhelming conditions for either spouse.
- Fights.
When I think about the periods of my marriage where I played the game of Tug ‘O War, I think of household chores or parenting.
I’ve felt I was doing more, which then caused my attitude to change toward my spouse. Instead of having the mindset of serving, I was thinking I was the master.
Tug ‘O War with Faith Life
As I was thinking about this, God inspired me to think about how this works in our faith life too.
God wants us to be in an intimate relationship with our spouse where God is a member of this relationship. We don’t do life as individuals but as a team.
We might not know how this team is supposed to work together, especially if we grew up in a household where God wasn’t involved in the marriage. Having godly marriage role models can be helpful as we learn how to become a team.
4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.'” 5 And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.
How do we know how God is acting in our spouse’s heart if we don’t become united into one?
God could be pricking their hearts in regards to something, and we would miss God acting if we aren’t in close connection.
I want to work together with my spouse to see both of our faith lives to grow, instead of playing “me” versus “him.”
When you do kingdom work in marriage, it requires the marriage to be united as one. Share on XGod tells us in the Bible that a cord of three is stronger than just one or two acting alone.
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
In order to know how God is leading my husband in his faith life, I need to be in close communication with not only my husband but with God also.
Don’t you want blessings in your marriage, your faith, and purpose in kingdom work?
7 Questions to Ask Husband this Year
- Is God prompting you in a certain direction this year?
- How can I support you better if God is leading you to something?
- Do you have any prayer needs that you haven’t told me about or would like me to focus on?
- Is there something I could be doing better in our marriage?
- Have I done anything lately which caused you pain or frustration?
- Where do you envision us in the future?
- How do you think we can grow more in faith together this year?
Heavenly Father- Thank you for blessing me with my spouse. You chose my husband for me. God, you have plans for us together in our marriage for kingdom work. My selfishness or agenda likes to rear its ugly head many times. As a result, help me change my mindset from “me” to an “us.” Please grow my faith, my husband’s faith and our faith life which is interconnected together. Weave our desires together and give us the zeal to want to do kingdom work together.In your precious Son’s name! Amen
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of GodSacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
Christian Marriage: From Basic Principles to Transformed Relationships
The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption
52 Uncommon Dates: A Couple’s Adventure Guide for Praying, Playing, and Staying Together
#Staymarried: A Couples Devotional: 30-Minute Weekly Devotions to Grow In Faith And Joy from I Do to Ever After
The 4 Seasons of Marriage: Secrets to a Lasting Marriage
The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted
Just a fine post with wisdom and advice and God’s Truth woven as a tapestry. The questions are beautiful, never placing blame and always asking what you can do for him, how you can change to make things better for both. They each feel like a dance. Thank you.
Linda- thank you for your words! I appreciate it!
Have a great rest of the week!
Hi Julie, nice to meet you. 🙂 What great questions to start the new year off well. Sometimes we forget that relationships are intentional work. Thanks for sharing, Julie and thanks for linking up at #ChasingCommunity today. 🙂 ((Hug))
Thank you Brenda for stopping by!
There’s a lot of questions I need to ask, thank you for these!
Marigold- praying for you and your marriage!
Awesome post! Thank you, Julie for drawing us closer to God and giving us some great insight for how to draw closer to our spouse. May God bless you and your marriage—double your blessings and strengthen the unity in marriages of those whose hearts you touch!
Thank you Sonya! So glad you stopped!
These are brave questions. Especially, “Is there anything I can do better?” I need to ask this one and be prepared to act on the answer, without getting defensive.
Sarah- I hope they were helpful to you!
Beautiful photo, Julie! 🙂 Any post on marriage, working on putting God first and loving your spouse well is time well spent. We need to keep that relationship elevated to a place where we willingly work on honoring God as we honor one another, don’t we. I appreciate these questions, the prompts that they make in my own heart. Thanks for sharing this.
Always grateful to have you at the #GraceMoments Link Up!
Blessings,
Dawn
Dawn- It’s so easy to replace God isn’t it, others “things” clamor for our attention.
Thank you for hosting and being a friend!
Those are such great questions! I have asked similar ones over the years and my husband really appreciates that I have. Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth.
Aimee- thank you for your kind words!
I’m glad to be a part of Grace and Truth.
I love those questions you posed. And your topic convicts me as I am not much of a “team-player” – remember group projects in school? I HATED those. That being said this is a really good reminder that despite our different roles, we need to come together and be “one.” Thank you.
Jennifer- Thank you for sharing this! I disliked those group projects too.
I really enjoyed this post and has me thinking of a conversation that I should have with my husband. He is heading into a tough and long training period that will keep him away from home on and off for the entire year. Talking about his needs through this time would help build our relationship and probably help build him up as well. Thank you.
Maryann- so glad you enjoyed it! I hope the questions are helpful!