Today I am welcoming my new friend, Janet, to the blog. I met Janet through Compel, and she graciously offered to write a post for this month’s series about “I’m the Problem with My Faith Growth.” I hope you enjoy her post!

The Solution to Insecurity

 By Janet Meydam

My heart fluttered as I looked at the checkbook balance. It was down to double digits – again! Our income had been pinched off over the summer due to health problems and legal issues and we had barely anything coming in to cover the monthly bills. We needed more money! Where were we going to find it? As usual, my brain scrambled to try to solve the problem and I began listing solutions: sell stuff, find more writing jobs, look for a smaller house, sell a car, find another part time job, ask family for help, and so on and so on. I had been in this place dozens of times and my natural instinct led me to react the same way every time – with absolute panic! All I wanted was some security. Why couldn’t I have it?

If you read the list of “solutions” that I compiled in my head, you will notice one solution that is missing: rely on God to provide. The funny thing is, I know he provides. He has provided for us for years. Every time the negative balance looms and I can’t see a way out, God provides – through help from a relative, a long forgotten rebate, a writing job I didn’t expect – it always shows up. So why do I still worry?

I think the reason is that security is my greatest trigger. It’s the primary way that Satan gets into my head. I equate money with security, so when the money is low, my feeling of security evaporates. Even though I know that God is my source of security, I spent my younger years relying on my own instincts and I tend to fall back on old habits when that feeling of insecurity takes over. It’s been a part of my personality for so long that it still derails my reliance on God.

The gospel of Matthew tells us that we cannot serve both God and money and that God will always provide:

²⁴ “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money (Matthew 6:24, NLT).

When I remember these verses and I follow them, my faith is strengthened and I do not panic. I know that God will point the way to the right solution. But when I forget these verses and insecurity grows, my own unorganized brain takes over, trying to find the solution that only God can find. It causes me to stumble in my faith and stunts my growth as a Christian. I might find an answer to the problem, but I put myself through a lot of grief and stress that I just wouldn’t have if I would only remember to rely on God.

As always, God pointed the way to the resources we needed to pay our bills for another month. Crisis averted. We are still not financially stable, but I know that if we rely on his promise of security, we will be okay. The next time we need money, I will rely on God’s guidance rather than my own flawed, panicky problem-solving. The first solution on my list will be to pray.

About the Author:

Janet Meydam is a freelance writer and an occupational therapist with 28 years of experience in a variety of health care settings. She has been blessed to see God’s reflection in the many people she has encountered over the years. Janet and her husband Tim have 3 adult children and live in Wisconsin.