When Joy and Anxiety War in a Christian Marriage
Inside: It is a war I never saw coming and I have no control over. I’ve found 3 things that give me Hope, we will survive this war between anxiety and joy in our Christian marriage.
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Today Tiffany is stopping by from Hope, Joy in Christ, where she writes about marriage. Tiffany is releasing a new online course on marriage. I hope you enjoy her post and check out her course!
Anxious. Worried. Afraid. I don’t mean to feel Anxiety. Can you relate?
Honestly there are days I want to scream because inside there is Joy.
There really is joy in my life and in my Christian Marriage today.
A decade ago we were on the road to divorce. Nothing was going right and I was sure it never would again. Why didn’t the anxiety strike then?
Hi, I’m Tiffany and I battle anxiety.
There are days it feels like my anxiety defines me.
The real me takes a back seat and I struggle to breathe – let alone get off the couch. ‘Where did I go’ I wonder. “Where did my wife go,” my husband asks.
There is a constant war to assure him I am fine, he is fine, we are fine. None of this anxiety is related to our relationship. Our marriage is stronger than it has ever been and we have really fought some war’s together.
We have battle alcoholism, pornography, loss of jobs, miscarriages, a full year of colic…
Now we war against anxiety
It is a war I never saw coming and I have no control over. I’ve found 3 things that give me Hope; we will survive this war between Anxiety and Joy in our Marriage.
How can I keep a firm hold of Joy through Anxiety?
1. I have to remember what Joy is and where it comes from.
The thing I love about Joy is that we can have it regardless of our situation. It is not about happiness or smiling… though it often brings a smile.
Joy comes from Hope -even while we are patient in tribulations (Romans 12:12).
Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit who lives inside of me (Galatians 5:22).
And my all-time favorite verse to remind myself to keep hold of joy:
Romans 14:17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit
2. I have to remind myself how Big God has been in my past.
Regardless of what is happening today in my life and my marriage, I know I can trust God. God has always been faithful. Can you think of a time God has shown up in your life when all seemed lost?
It can be hard to remember – so I have learned to keep a journal. Then on days when the anxiety presses in and I think I will drown in it – I can open the journal and be reminded of a time God has rescued me. I can believe He will rescue me again – because I have seen Him do it in the past.
Can our Christian marriage endure a war with anxiety?
My husband struggles with my anxiety. It is not a sickness he can fix or even really understand and so it puts him out of his element. I am fine, he is fine, we are fine.
3. We have had to learn how to communicate our needs to avoid problems – arguments, hurt feelings, insecurities.
Something that helps is to keep a list of things that help me. There are several things that help lift my spirit through an anxiety attack. Some of the things that help me are:
- A drive to sing at the top of my lungs
- A funny movie with the family
- Walking – just me a God
- Listening to Christian music
- A tall vanilla frappuccino and 30 minutes alone to read
- A few hours alone with no expectations
- Help with the housework or dinner while I rest
My husband doesn’t know the things that will help me unless I tell him. So I write a list. We talk about it so we can have a plan when there is a bad day. When he has a clear “To Do” list on a bad day it sort of empowers him. I see him stepping up, helping out, embracing his masculinity in his ability to show me love in a practical way.We can survive this war with anxiety and hold onto Joy in our Marriage. When we put God at the center, and communicate clearly about our needs we can't fail! Click To Tweet
Plus – if God is for us… who can be against us (Romans 8:31)!
Are you longing for Hope and Joy in your Marriage?
God took me on a journey of re-learning how to live as a wife with a Biblical Worldview. It is a joy for me to teach and mentor locally and I am thrilled to launch this new Online Course.
In this 9- week course, we will dig into the Bible and find out how to restore our Marriage – rebuilding it to last a lifetime!
This Christian Marriage Course will include:
- 10 Self-paced video lessons
- Desires Vs. Preferences
- My Mouth
- Appreciation & Admiration
- The Leader
- Understanding Men
- My Priorities
- 9 weeks of personal study
- 5 days each week that should take 10-15 minutes
- 45 Days of Prayer prompts
I am excited to giveaway 1 spot in the course! Enter Below.
Bio: Tiffany is a Jesus Girl with a passion to Encourage and Equip Wives and Moms through Biblical Discipleship. Connect with her on Facebook and Pinterest.
So thankful that you shared this space with me lady! And i love the anxiety scripture cards!
Tiffany- glad to have you here!
I can so relate to this!! My marriage (and my life) is full of joy, but I still struggle with anxiety. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is good.
Heather- I love that even though you have trials, you can stand firm in the truth: God is good!
Tiffany I love that you express to your husband what helps you so it can be a conversation plus providing a “to-do” list to empower him. That’s such a great way for our husbands to feel like they are able to help when so often they (and us) feel powerless against our anxiety.
Melissa- Tiffany’s suggestion of the “To-Do list” is a great idea!
I think remembering what God has done in the past for me is huge to keeping my eyes on Him!
Amy- that is true! Remembering is important to our faith!
This is so good. I have a friend who struggles with anxiety and we just talked about this very subject. I just texted her the link!
Reminding ourselves of how bug God has been in the past gives us hope that we will get through the difficult seasons.