15 Ultimate Tips for Long-Lasting Love
Inside: In our culture, it’s a struggle to remain in a long-lasting marriage. Death was intended to be the end of the marriage covenant.
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In our culture, it’s a struggle to remain with the one we spoke our wedding vows to. Every day marriages break up and fall apart. Reasons for the breakup can be many, but in most cases, God desires forgiveness and reconciliation if at all possible.
Becoming one flesh through the marriage covenant is important to God.
(Mark 10:8, NLT). This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.
Many times in our culture, it’s easier to just throw in the towel and find someone more compatible.
Have these vows just become a phrase of words we say without any permanence behind them?
I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
Death was intended to be the end of the marriage covenant, not irreconcilable differences.
Exchange or Keep?
Instead, culture teaches us to easily trade in our spouses for a new version. It’s all about what I want, how I feel and if it makes me uncomfortable I can get a new-improved model to try out.
We’re not the problem in the relationship???
In the Garden of Eden, God made a perfect marriage. Adam and Eve lived in a partnership with each other where each submitted to the other. Openness and honesty were part of their union. They had respect for each other because they complemented the other.
They were perfect in the image of God, and their marriage was a reflection of this.
(Genesis 1:27, NLT). So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
This partnership worked in harmony because God was the third member. He was involved in daily interaction with both Adam and Eve.
Sin Botches Marriage
When sin entered, the perfect marriage disintegrated. Blame and criticism appeared. Selfishness took Eve away from the promise of God and caused her to want more for herself.
Isn’t that how we are? It’s all about ourselves.
We always want more for ourselves. If it makes us sad or uncomfortable, we don’t want any part of it.
Marriage requires us to submit to someone else. In our society, the word submission is a taboo word. By submitting, we yield to someone else’s wishes. We no longer focus on ourselves, but on someone else.
Isn’t this what true love is?
True Love
What is love according to the Bible?
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NLT). 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Sounds like we need a loving overhaul, right?
We need more Christian couples demonstrating what a real Biblical marriage looks like. Share on XTips for Long- Lasting Love
- Remember God gave you your spouse.
- Marriage is work because it’s two sinful people working together.
- Refrain from using the divorce word
- Share life together
- Keep it Christ-centered
- Fights aren’t “him” vs “her”, there is no real winner
- Find support in Christian friends
- Trust God’s plans for your marriage
- Pray for your marriage
- Act as a team
- Commit to learning and growing together
- Give up demanding own way
- Pray individually and together
- Commit to a long-lasting marriage
- Use God’s Word as the foundation of your marriage
Long-Lasting Life
A long-lasting marriage is not only what God commanded, but it also increases your life expectancy.
A Duke University study showed “that having a partner during middle age is protective against premature death: those who never married were more than twice as likely to die early than those who had been in a stable marriage throughout their adult life. Being single, or losing a partner without replacement, increased the risk of early death during middle age and reduced the likelihood that one would survive to be elderly.”
We can change this cultural norm regarding marriage by sticking it out long-term. God promises to give us wisdom when we ask Him. He wants to bless our marriage union because we spoke the vows not only to our spouse but to God also.
Staying married, therefore, is not about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant. ~John Piper
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of GodSacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
Christian Marriage: From Basic Principles to Transformed Relationships
You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity
52 Uncommon Dates: A Couple’s Adventure Guide for Praying, Playing, and Staying Together
The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption
#Staymarried: A Couples Devotional: 30-Minute Weekly Devotions to Grow In Faith And Joy from I Do to Ever After
What a great list! My favorite tip is #6. It is so easy to lash out at your spouse, but you are so right, there really are no winners when husband and wife fight.
Sarah- it’s hard to not want to win. We are competitive and selfish by nature.
Beautiful post. I love #2 on the list. Often, I have made him the enemy/bad guy. When we are both sinful. I am not wrestling my husband but a power and principality that want to bring our marriage down. Perspective helps. And this prayer is perfect. Thank you so much.
Thank you Calvonia for your kind words! Satan is all too ready to wreck our relationship by power struggles. Perspective does help!
Have a great week!
Such a nicely timed post. I prayed the prayer and am continuing to ask God to make these changes in me. It’s when we start trying to do better that we see how short we actually fall. I need Jesus everyday.
Natalie- I agree, I need God’s grace every minute!
Thanks for stopping by!
Hi! Julie, This is a great post! You are absolutely right marriage is a covenant between, man, woman, and God! God is the glue that can hold any marriage together. My husband and I took divorce off the table after attending an “I still do” conference, and that was the best thing we ever did for our marriage!! We have gone through many difficult times over the years, but we know no matter what happens we choose to make things work. After almost 25 years of marriage, we are still madly in love!
Misty- what a testament to what God can do when we turn to Him in situations we think are impossible. So happy for you! 25 years is awesome!
My fav was #10 Julie…act as a team! I feel like so many couples are trying to compete with one another, where if they would just realize that theyre in this thing together…their marriage would be so much better!
Shannon- The saying “there is no I in team” is very fitting for this! Thanks for commenting!
This is a tough one for me right now. Prayer is a key ingredient in the marriage recipe. Thank you for this.
Praying for you and your marriage Marigold!
It’s amazing that my hubby and I both came from broken families (5 marriages for our parents) and have 27 years of marriage behind us. I’m grateful for the foundation that we have that began with the Lord. Without him, I know we’d most likely not be where we are at now.
Congrats Lillian! The foundation on God is the best for our marriages!
I want to offer a bit of advice to anyone looking to find help on saving their marriage/relationship. Me and my husband had a torrid time for a whole decade; all our family & friends constantly advising us to get a divorce but we knew it would break our children’s heart. We tried so many different things to save our marriage and from trial & error we came across a very helpful Dr online that worked extremely well for us. And now we are happily together with no more problems. Google his name as Dr Amigo the online spell caster for a review of his articles.
Maureen- thank you for the suggestion! So glad your marriage is growing stronger!
Great share. My best tips are 1&2. I do appreciate your work. Keep serving God
http://dominikagoodness.blogspot.com.ng
dominika- thank you for the sweet encouragement!
I love all of your tips! One of my favorites is “Fights aren’t “him” vs “her”, there is no real winner” >>> I was thinking about this just the other day. When we fight, we both lose not matter who made a greater point or said the “end all, be all”. We are a team (another one of your tips) and when one falls, we both fall. <3 Thank you so much for sharing! It's so important to embody a Godly marriage so the world can see the example!
Marriage is definitely a ongoing adventure, challenge and joy 🙂
Hannah- yes it is!