The Best Ways to Create a Strong Mother- Daughter Bond
Inside: To create this mother-daughter bond, I had to start with the end in mind. This relationship would take time, investment and intentionality.
Today I’m excited to be sharing at Starla’s site, starlajimenez.com. Starla has been a good friend leading me through my blogging journey and encouraging me as I step out in faith!
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My daughter, Liv, is special to me because she is my only girl in a family of four boys. She is my firstborn, and I feel like the time went too fast with her.
Here she is sixteen, and I feel like it has been an eye blink from birth to now. My daughter is almost ready to depart the nest. Will she return often?
My desire is to have the strongest bond with her. Here’s the thing, I started with the end in mind. I knew in order to have this type of bond, I’d have to start when she was a baby. This relationship would take time, investment, and intentionality.
Start With the End in Mind
When she was born, I said I would return to work right away, not even taking the six weeks maternity leave. As the days got closer to returning to work, I couldn’t bear leaving her so I decided to remain at home and spend as much time with my daughter as I could.
As Liv got old enough for school, I noticed she was becoming stressed as she moved from 1st to 2nd grade. My mother’s intuition knew it was abnormal so I started to think about homeschooling her. I don’t know if I would have seen her mentally and emotionally suffering without spending a lot of time with her.
Even though I didn’t know anything about homeschooling, I decided to give it a try. For five years I homeschooled Liv and during this time we spent a lot of time together. In essence, she became one of my best friends.
Honestly, I was nervous educating my child, to be responsible for what she learned was intimidating. During this time, though, she became more confident and sure of herself.
In 8th grade, she went back to public school and has excelled there all while remaining close to me and sharing her feelings with me.
Will I show her Jesus?
While the above paragraphs make me sound like I’ve had it together, can I admit, I’ve been a mess in raising her.
I have failed to spend time doing devotions and I haven’t gotten into the Bible nearly enough with her. I’ve bought her devotional books with the intention to work through them with her and time has gotten away from us.
Guilt and shame have been occasional visitors to me because I haven’t led her to God as much as I’ve liked to. Can you feel my shame or fear that I didn’t do enough?
I’ve dealt with my own childhood pain and emotions through the years I’ve been raising her, including anxiety and depression that have taken my focus from her. More than anything, I hope I’ve shown my daughter a real broken mom who needs Jesus a lot.
In those moments where I’ve blown it, I hope she sees a mom praying or getting into her Bible. #needJesus #faith Click To Tweet I desire for Liv to see a mom who asks for forgiveness and vows to try harder through her mistakes.
I pray she sees Jesus when she looks at me. Is this a bold statement?
I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.
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Mothers and Daughters: Mending a Strained RelationshipGirl Talk (Redesign): Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical WomanhoodA Voice Becoming: A Yearlong Mother-Daughter Journey into Passionate, Purposed LivingThe One Year Mother-Daughter DevoDeepen: A Christian Mother – Daughter JournalYour Girl: Raising a Godly Daughter in an Ungodly WorldBetween Us Girls: Walks and Talks for Moms and Daughters
As mothers, we do the best that we can, given what we have energy-wise and everything else. We cannot live in regret because as Christians, we wanted to do right and did the best we could at the time. There is no condemnation for the past, and we can redeem the time even more in the present.
I had those feelings too when my daughters were growing up.The time they needed me most, I was working in the bank where I was spending most of my time.
I retired from work 5 years ago, and I dedicated my time to them, anytime they are home on holidays I spend enough time with them.I cannot boast of giving them enough teaching of God’s word, but I make sure I pray daily for each of them.
God will help our children to know and depend on him as they grow.
I have 3 daughters and I totally understand what you are feeling. Broken moms that is what we are and as much as we want to be the perfect mom for our daughters it will never be. But love prevails over failures and God is in the midst of it all. He will use the imperfections to point to Him and cover our mistakes.
I was terrified to have a daughter. My daughter is now 5. I don’t always do it right but I know she understands I love her unconditionally. But I know we have the teen years ahead! 😉
My daughter is only seven, but I hope that I’ll have a close relationship with her as she gets older too. I think being broken and humble about it is one way we do that. Many teens move away emotionally because they are starting to experience things that tempt, but wouldn’t please parents or God. When we are real in our sin and real in asking forgiveness, I pray we create a path to being real together as mothers and daughters, talking about hard things like temptation to sin and giving them a template for what it looks like to fight our flesh.