Inside: To create this mother-daughter bond, I had to start with the end in mind. This relationship would take time, investment and intentionality.
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My daughter, Liv, is special to me because she is my only girl in a family of four boys. She is my firstborn, and I feel like the time went too fast with her.
Here she is sixteen, and I feel like it has been an eye blink from birth to now. My daughter is almost ready to depart the nest. Will she return often?
My desire is to have the strongest bond with her. Here’s the thing, I started with the end in mind. I knew in order to have this type of bond, I’d have to start when she was a baby. This relationship would take time, investment and intentionality.
When she was born, I said I would return to work right away, not even taking the six weeks maternity leave. As the days got closer to returning to work, I couldn’t bear leaving her so I decided to remain at home and spend as much time with my daughter as I could.
As Liv got old enough for school, I noticed she was becoming stressed as she moved from 1st to 2nd grade. My mother’s intuition knew it was abnormal so I started to think about homeschooling her. I don’t know if I would have seen her mentally and emotionally suffering without spending a lot of time with her.
Even though I didn’t know anything about homeschooling, I decided to give it a try. For five years I homeschooled Liv and during this time we spent a lot of time together. In essence, she became one of my best friends.
Honestly, I was nervous educating my child, to be responsible for what she learned was intimidating. During this time, though, she became more confident and sure of herself.
In 8th grade, she went back to public school and has excelled there all while remaining close to me and sharing her feelings with me.
Will I show her Jesus?
While the above paragraphs make me sound like I’ve had it together, can I admit, I’ve been a mess in raising her.
I have failed to spend time doing devotions and I haven’t gotten into the Bible nearly enough with her. I’ve bought her devotional books with the intention to work through them with her and time has gotten away from us.
Guilt and shame have been occasional visitors to me because I haven’t led her to God as much as I’ve liked to. Can you feel my shame or fear that I didn’t do enough?
I’ve dealt with my own childhood pain and emotions through the years I’ve been raising her, including anxiety and depression that have taken my focus from her. More than anything, I hope I’ve shown my daughter a real broken mom who needs Jesus a lot.
In those moments where I’ve blown it, I hope she sees a mom praying or getting into her Bible. #needJesus #faith Click To Tweet I desire for Liv to see a mom who asks for forgiveness and vows to try harder through her mistakes.
I pray she sees Jesus when she looks at me. Is this a bold statement?
I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.