Does Your Messy Past Make You a Bad Mom?
Inside: What is keeping you from being a good mom? Does your past make you feel like a mess? Here are some tips to help you realize that with Jesus you can be the best mom!
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In the windowless basement amongst the brown and orange carpet was a wooden, play fridge and stove.
A pink doll bassinet could be seen along with the essentials for playing house. As I rocked my baby doll, for a few seconds, she was fast asleep for a few hours while I tended to other matters.
The truth is, as I child, I had expectations of what being a mom to real children would look like.
The kids would listen, play together nicely, and always eat what I cooked for dinner.
However, the first night of being a mom destroyed all the false expectations I had dreamed about. This reality was quite different.
My baby wouldn’t sleep no matter what we tried so we had to resort to sleeping with her lying on our chest.
Breastfeeding wasn’t easy and I had to see numerous professionals to help both of us learn the art of breastfeeding.
My baby also wanted to be held a lot and when I put her down, most times I had minutes to get something done.
So much for hours of cleaning and doing other housework.
How can you be a good mom when you’re a mess?
Maybe your past brings up a lot of shame and guilt and you question yourself on how you can raise good kids because you feel so broken.
Perhaps you are aware of the way you resolve conflict, talk to yourself, and the habits you have all make you feel like, “you are messing your kids up.”
Can I just breathe some hope into you?
The fact that you are aware of this, is evidence you are a good mom.
You care and want better for your kids.
Everyone is messy. No one gets it right. We all have made mistakes. You are not alone.
Want to know how to do better?
Get closer to Jesus. Seriously, that is the answer.
When you accept Jesus, you not only get eternal life but you also receive the Holy Spirit who can transform you.
This is called sanctification, in essence, we become more like Jesus.
I don’t know about you, but I need this as a mom. I need Jesus every minute of my day!
Work-in-Progress Moms
Here’s what I want to tell you, friend: your past is your past!
Some of the things that have happened to you aren’t your fault. We live in a sinful, fallen world.
Even if some things are because of the choices you made, you can make better choices and move forward.
Perhaps by making bad choices, you have since learned and have grown more wise. You might not have ever reached that wisdom without making a mistake.
We will never reach our full potential. Sorry, but it’s true.
What Can the Women at the Well Teach Us
Go read John 4: 1-30
Jesus meets the woman at the well.
She has a past, a sordid past.
You see in this culture at the time, living with a man outside of wedlock was considered illegal and the punishment was stoning or death.
This woman was a repeat offender.
And yet, when she meets Jesus, He doesn’t condemn her but through love makes her realize she doesn’t have to remain in her past.
By their chance meeting, she will overcome her past.
It’s the same with us, we meet with Jesus and we overcome our past. We become better.
That’s what Jesus does when we have a relationship with Him, He helps us overcome our past. No condemnation but confirmation to be better.
6 Tips to Help You Be a Better Mom
- Grow closer to Jesus. As your relationship with Him grows deeper, all your relationships get better (at least the ones you value.)
- Pray and ask God to give you the wisdom to be a good mom.
- Find other Christian moms who can teach you and encourage you!
- Trust that God has chosen you to be the mother of these children.
- Let go of your past, you can step into confidence as a mom who is guided by Christ.
- Pray for your kids!
For other tips and ideas: check out this blog post: How to Be a Better Christian Mother: 7 Practical Tips
Some other habits for you, momma to incorporate into your day!
Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your FamilyShepherding a Child’s Heart
Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst
Grace Based Parenting: Set Your Familiy Free
The Christian Parenting Handbook: 50 Heart-Based Strategies for All the Stages of Your Child’s Life
Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition)
Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls
That was a good post. It is so good that young women/moms are addressing these sorts of things. I wish I had heard this when I was a young mom. Now I have a grandson and I am trying to be a bit more real and authentic with him so that he knows we are sinners, but we have a wonderful God who desires to save us and have a relationship with us. Thanks for sharing. – Amy
http://stylingrannymama.com/
Thank you, Amy! I think it helps for our kids to know this so they can form a personal relationship with Jesus.
It is so important to help our children understand that none of us are perfect and we all need forgiveness.
Kristi- It is important because we will keep screwing up and need God’s grace!
“I need Jesus every minute of my day.” AMEN! It’s when I forget that I become discouraged, but when I call out to Him help is always there.
Dani- He IS always there and promises to stay with us!